Anticipating Potential Challenges and Support Your Artistic Teen
Question:
Hi Dr. Alaina. I know from your book you have boys and have raised a boy singer. I’d really need some help understanding how to help my son. He was a soprano and got a lot of attention for his singing voice. He used to have lots of solos in our church’s children’s choir, he was asked to work with an adult caroling group for pay. He’s sung in some local musical theater shows.
I thought it was great and encouraged him to do pretty much everything that was offered to him. Even though he liked sports, he loved singing and when we saw all of this talent we encouraged him to focus on his singing over sports. While all of his friends were working to make travel baseball and soccer, he was in three different children’s choirs in our area.
It was going well until he hit puberty and his voice changed. It felt like almost overnight he lost his high notes and his range became much smaller. He was devastated. It started in early fall and by the time Thanksgiving rolled around his caroling group let me know they would be auditioning for true boys soprano. This was also a big emotional hit because his favorite choir group has a strict age cut off the year you turn thirteen. Even though he moved to the older kids group, he just didn’t enjoy it as much – and I kind of think it’s probably because he’s not really a standout there right now, he’s just one of the male singers.
I feel really guilty that we pushed him to sing over sports. LIke I should have seen this coming. Now all of his friends are really into sports and he feels like he can’t keep up with them, even just in fun pick up games. He’s a singer, but doesn’t really like doing musical theater. He’s bored and frustrated and a bit lonely and has started talking about quitting singing. That really scares me because that’s the only activity he’s ever really done and I don’t know what else he would do. But then maybe I think I may be making it worse when I say that. Do you have any ideas on how I can help him?
I understand how hard it is to watch your creative artist navigate unavoidable changes as they mature. When kids discover their love of their art in elementary school, it can feel fairly simple to support their interest. As interest turns into a dedicated pursuit or passion, the ups and downs can become more challenging to traverse. And as they continue, many different types of transitions will naturally occur.
Adolescence in a natural time of transformational transitions. For young people involved in the arts, some of these transitions can be challenging.
Anticipating Potential Transitions in Specific Arts
Singers:
Voice changes are a natural part of puberty, and can be particularly challenging as tweens navigate the transition from a child’s voice to an adult’s. These changes can lead to vocal instability, decreased range, and a loss of control, which can be frustrating and disheartening for young vocalists.
It is important to note that voice changes are not only the domain of male singers. Girls may also notice changes during this time and without knowledge of this may feel some despair if the range or weight of their singing voice alters.
Dancers:
The physical changes at puberty come with specific concerns, as these changes can impact performance and injury risk. Their technical abilities may be impacted, especially once they enter a growth spurt. These physical changes often occur right as dancers are moving into more serious training which requires more hours in the studio and new physical skills such as beginning pointe work. They may also feel a bit disconnected from their sense of their body in space as they are constantly attempting to adjust to the changes in body mass, muscle distribution, and other changes.
Actors:
The roles that your teen or tween may feel most comfortable playing may no longer be a good fit for their physical appearance. This may go either direction with tweens who are on the earlier side of puberty being assigned the adult or even senior characters when they may have been waiting to play a lead child character. Or the reverse may occur for those who are on the later side of pubertal changes. They may feel great frustration or disappointment when a cast list comes out and they realize they are no longer a physical fit for the roles they had been dreaming of playing. For kids in musical theater this may be compounded with challenges managing changes in their singing voice.
Instrumentalists:
Puberty and adolescence may bring an increased incidence of music performance anxiety for instrumentalists. This anxiety can negatively impact their performances, regardless of how much advance preparation and technical skill they bring to the stage. This can undermine self-confidence and for some, may lead them to want to cease playing their instrument of choice.
General Transitions for Creative Artists
Studios, Programs, and Artistic Communities:
Transitions within artistic communities, such as changing studios, programs, outgrowing a familiar program, or joining new artistic groups, can disrupt established routines and support networks. The loss of familiar mentors, peers, and instructors can be unsettling for teens and tweens who rely on these connections for guidance, inspiration, validation and feedback.
Peer Groups and Social Dynamics:
Teens naturally seek acceptance and validation from their peers. However, artistic teens may find it challenging to fit in with their non-artist peers due to their unique interests and pursuits. This struggle for acceptance and common ground can lead to feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and a lack of understanding from their social circles. They may also suddenly become wary of performing in front of their peers who are not into a creative art.
Shifting Educational Environments:
Moving from elementary school to middle school and then to high school involves transitioning to different educational environments, each with its own unique set of demands and expectations. The structured routines and smaller communities of elementary schools give way to larger, more diverse middle and high schools. These transitions can be overwhelming, causing anxiety and a sense of loss of familiarity for teens in the arts.
Increasing Expectations:
As young creative artists mature, there is a natural increase in expectations around their skill growth, study time, ability to manage higher pressure environments. Visual artists may be facing expectations that curate a more defined artistic identity. Actors may find they are expected to understand and memorize scripts more quickly. Dancers may face an increase in the expected core classes they are taking as well as an ability to pick up complex choreography with ease.
This more advanced level may be a welcome increase in training level for some, but for others, this may be daunting and have them questioning if they want to change to a less challenging and more recreational involvement.
Supporting Artistic Teens Through Transitions
Foster Open Communication:
Encourage regular, open conversations with your teen about their experiences, challenges, and aspirations. Listen attentively, validate their emotions, and offer guidance without judgment. Make your home a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their concerns and triumphs.
Acknowledge and Normalize Emotional Responses:
Recognize that transitions can elicit a range of emotions in your teen, including excitement, anxiety, frustration, and even sadness. Let them know that it is normal to feel a range of emotions including moments of discouragement as they adjust to the transition. Discuss the importance of avoiding automatic negative thoughts when they feel frustrated. working their way through the transition fully before making any big decisions about quitting their art. Provide reassurance that you are there to support them in whatever manner they prefer throughout the process.
Celebrate Achievements and Efforts:
Acknowledge and celebrate your teen’s accomplishments, no matter how small. Recognize their efforts, growth, and progress in their artistic pursuits. Encouragement and positive reinforcement can help boost their self-esteem and confidence during challenging transitions.
Encourage Exploration and Self-Expression:
Allow space for your teen to explore different opportunities, collaborate with other artists, mentors, studios and groups. express themselves creatively in a new manner. This can help broaden their artistic horizons, build resilience, and foster a sense of adaptability as they navigate transitions within their art community. These connections can also serve as a source for advice on how to best navigate these new transitions. Seek out experts on the transitions your teen is facing who can educate them (and you) on what to expect and potential outcomes.
Professional Support:
If your teen is experiencing significant emotional distress or struggling with their mental well-being during transitions, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with young artists. Professional guidance can help your teen develop coping strategies and resilience to navigate challenging periods.
Conclusion:
Transitions in the arts can be challenging for teens in the arts. This is due to physical changes, shifting educational environments, peer dynamics, and changes within their artistic communities. As a parent, it can be painful to watch your teen struggle to embrace and work through these issues.
By listening to your teens’ concerns, validating their emotions, and helping them develop a roadmap forward, you are helping them develop a sense of resilience in the face of adversity. Empower your teen to feel all of the feelings, while also creating space to redefine their relationship with their art. Redefining opportunities, challenges and rewards of their art will allow them to continue to pursue their artistic passion throughout these transformative phases
