Independence Leads to Independent Thinking Which Fosters Greater Creativity
Introduction
As a mom of three, I fully relate to the passion and dedication you have for your teens’ success. There is no question that your dedicated involvement and support have played a vital role in nurturing their creative wins and future potential. The intention is to help, not interfere with fostering independence.
Yet often, as a therapist, I can see that this is, in fact, the outcome of well-meaning behaviors. As a mom, I understand how it is very tempting to help them along by doing things for them. Lots of things. Heck, when things are crazy busy or there are deadlines that matter, it may be tempting to do almost everything for them. But the therapist in me knows that when we do this, we are doing teens a huge disservice.
Promoting independence is crucial for your teens’ success in both the creative arts and overall life. The slide away from creating opportunities for autonomy can be subtle. We see our tweens or teens feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and our first instinct is to soothe those emotions. Which often looks like taking responsibilities off of their plate. But this robs them of the opportunity to learn valuable skills they will need as they mature and move away from our protective, and yes, sometimes enabling, embrace.
Why This is Challenging
When they are young, our kids need our input and help with organization. It is part of our job to offer opportunities to try new things, to make decisions about which classes and activities are most appropriate, and keep them safe from emotionally overwhelming situations. We don’t expect our six-year-old to remember to wash their dance clothes, at most we may expect them to put them in the laundry hamper or washing machine.
As they move into the tween years, they need less hands-on guidance from us. Our role shifts from the leader to a supportive advisor on the sidelines. On a tangible level, this may mean moving to expecting our tweens to wash their dance clothes, but we may offer reminders to get this done and we may occasionally step in and do it for them if we know they have been unusually busy.
It can be challenging to navigate this shift, and it can create a sense of anxiety in parents as we watch them inevitably make some missteps. Yet if we protect them from every misstep or rush in to fix everything for them when they occur, they never learn how to manage on their own.
On a day when you know it’s not critical they have their favorite leotard clean and they chose to go to a friend’s house instead of starting their laundry in spite of a reminder, we let it go. If they are sad or disappointed, the natural consequence of not making the choice to manage their time differently will be a far more powerful learning experience than if we do it for them and lecture them about remembering to do it themselves.
Once tweens move into their teen years and high school, our job as parents shifts even more. We go from being supportive advisors on the sidelines to providing guidance on an as-needed basis when they approach us for support. We should no longer expect to be privy to every decision, every interaction, and yes, every misstep.
If we don’t allow this space as teens mature, instead of moving into independence, they are stuck feeling dependent on us – which undermines a strong sense of an identity separate from us. Yet this individuation, one of their most critical developmental tasks at this age. By high school, there should be no more reminders regarding their dance gear. Not only should they be responsible for making sure what they need will be clean and ready, they should be the one letting you know if you need new gear, keeping track of all of their dance outfits, shoes, and other attire.
Fostering independence is a crucial part of their development and maintaining a healthy relationship with your teen. Here are some of the benefits of taking a step back and encouraging them to be independent:
Independence Fosters Organizational Skills
Encouraging independence in your child can significantly contribute to the development of strong organizational skills, which are vital for success in just about any endeavor. When children are given the freedom to make decisions such as which classes they need, which ones they want, they learn to manage their time efficiently and set priorities.
Letting them take increasing responsibility for looking at where they are and where they want to be will instill a sense of ownership in the outcomes. Encourage them to set goals and create a schedule on their own that meets the needs of their academic, extra-curricular, and personal needs.
By having your teen develop time management and planning skills, it will not only teach them discipline but also enhance their ability to meet deadlines and work on multiple projects simultaneously. Similarly, encourage them to work on organizing their physical space in a manner that keeps them organized on their own. Keep in mind what works best for them may not be what would work best for you, but this is part of fostering independent thinking.
Independence Boosts Confidence
Promoting independence in your teens’ artistic pursuits can significantly boost their self-confidence. When they are allowed to make their own choices related to training, skill development, and artistic presentation, they develop a sense of competence and belief in their abilities.
By supporting your child’s decisions and ideas, even when they may differ from your own, you let them know you trust their developing decision-making skills. When teens see that their choices are respected, they gain confidence and learn to hone their abilities.
Even when your teen makes a misstep and experiences disappointment or failure related to their choices, talk to them about how this is a part of learning. Empower them to embrace failure and see it as an opportunity to navigate challenges. This builds their confidence in their ability to not only make decisions but to not fear taking chances. Creativity often requires taking chances, thus will enhance their creative art skill set.
Independence Enhances Problem-Solving Skills
Problem-solving skills are indispensable for all areas of life. When your child is allowed to navigate challenges independently, they develop a resilient problem-solving mindset. This encourages them to engage in critical thinking.
When independence is encouraged, teens are given space to analyze and find solutions to roadblocks. It also allows them to adapt to uncertainty. As they face unknown or unpredictable challenges, they learn to trust their instinct and ask relevant questions. This skill also enhances the quality of their creative output as they practice innovative thinking.
Additional Benefits of Fostering Independence
Independence exposes your child to various challenges and setbacks. These experiences build resilience and a willingness to persevere in the face of obstacles, which are essential to success in life and the creative arts.
In addition, when teens are allowed to engage in independence, it allows for increased opportunities to learn and tolerate uncomfortable feelings such as vulnerability and disappointment. They will be presented with new situations where they are unsure or unfamiliar with how to proceed and will have to learn to regulate their emotions as they learn how to find solutions.
When your child takes ownership of their activities and choices, it fosters an appreciation of lifelong learning. As their confidence in themselves grows, your teen will not only develop a strong sense of self-identity but also feel confident in expressing their unique perspective and interpretation of the world around them and become independent thinkers.
Independent Thinking Fosters Greater Creativity
Teens who are comfortable trusting their instincts and thinking independently are more inclined to think outside the box. They can approach problems and projects with a sense of curiosity for atypical solutions.
Because teens who are independent thinkers are less reliant on outside guidance they are able to avoid or set aside preconceived ideas. When teens feel confident to explore, embrace and expand their original and unique ideas, they are free to find novel and inventive outcomes. Creativity thrives on novelty and freedom from constraints. This allows for open expression of innovative thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Conclusion
Fostering your teens’ independence will be one of the most valuable gifts you can offer them. Encouraging them to solve problems, take pride in the outcomes, and trust themselves to navigate their relationship with their art will not only enhance their success as artists but also equip them with invaluable life skills.
