Help!
My son is going down a rabbit hole, and if I’m honest, I’m right there behind him. We need to know how much do lead roles matter when applying to musical theater programs.
He has always been a decent singer, but his main passion was football. He loved it. But a massive injury (a full ACL tear) ended his career. While doing rehab, he met a female soccer player who was there for the same injury. They became friends and began singing together as a joke to pass the time in rehab. Long story short, they had a dare to try out for the summer musical. I think no one was more stunned to have been cast than my son.
What started as a joke turned into something he wound up loving. He began taking lessons, and all the time he’d spent playing and conditioning for football went into studying musical theater. It’s been great fun, and now he wants to try to major in it. Which is great, but he came into this really late. So he won’t have a ton of shows on his application, but we were really hopeful he’d get the lead in the fall musical because it really was perfect for him.
The cast list came out, and not only did he not get the lead, but he has a really minor part. I’m so upset but trying not to show it because he is devastated. He’s convinced he will never get into a musical theater program without this credit, and he also questions if it’s a sign he shouldn’t even try.
I really desperately want to email the director and find out what happened. I know my son is pretty new, but we’ve been told he’s really good, and I have a hard time believing the person cast in the role is as suited to it as him. Everyone we’ve talked to agrees my son is so right for this role, and his friend said she really thought he had the best audition of all the males. I really want to talk to the director and see if she would reconsider and double-cast my son for the role, as they have with some of the other leads. My son doesn’t want me to ask, but if I’m missing something and he really isn’t good enough for the role or doesn’t have much of a chance of getting into a musical theater program, I’d rather we know that now than let him waste a bunch of time and money going after a dream he can’t achieve.
When our teens are hurting, we respond with deep empathy and often want to fix it. It hurts us to see them hurting. Add to that concerns about their future, and it’s hard not to take a breath and a beat. But this is the best way to slow down and act from a place of supportive guidance.
There are a few points to address here.
Seeking Information
Wanting to understand why your son wasn’t cast is a very normal and understandable desire for both you as a parent and for your son. Yet, it is incredibly important to remember that casting is a complicated puzzle – at least when done well. There are many reasons a cast is put together the way it is. A great show isn’t just about one actor; it’s about the cast as a whole and how they integrate together to make the best production possible.
Being the “best” is a subjective assessment. The “best” singer, dancer, or actor is also not the only factor a director must consider. The way the actor fits with the other leads will impact casting decisions. How the actor’s acting style works with the director’s vision of the show and how the actor interpreted the role are also considerations. Versatility. Originality. Vocal Range. Directability. Leadership skills. Experience. Confidence. Ability to take feedback. Range. Believability. These are just some of the things that a director may consider when making casting decisions.
It’s disappointing when an actor both desires and feels suited for a role and they don’t get it. For an actor who feels the role could be critical for their resume, the disappointment is even greater. Yet, learning to feel the disappointment but also accepting the outcome and moving on is a critical part of acting. As someone who is considering a professional career as an actor, this will be essential for his overall emotional well-being. So it would not be advisable for him to question the cast list.
He could reach out after the show closes, once he has demonstrated that he was committed to the production and took the time with his casting to learn the most he could in that role. Yet, his question shouldn’t be “why wasn’t I cast as the lead?” He should ask for feedback about his overall performance, skills, and suggestions on areas to focus on and any recommendations for specific training or classes.
Allowing for Autonomy
I suspect you know deep down inside that even if you requested they double-cast your son, it’s highly unlikely it would happen. Instead, it could be detrimental to his relationship with his director and his castmates. It could impact how he is viewed, and though it may not feel fair, lead him to be labeled as a teen with an interfering parent.
It can be hard to watch our kids in pain. When they are experiencing disappointment, we feel empathy for them, and our instinct is to lessen their emotional discomfort. Yet, pain and disappointment are part of life, and we are doing our teens a disservice if we clear obstacles for them at every turn.
High school is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood. Allowing your teen to make decisions and manage how he navigates the ups and downs of an acting career is essential for preparing him to manage being on his own. Keep in mind, if your son’s goal is to enroll in a musical theater program, the amount of time before he will leave for school is not that long. He also needs to know you respect and trust his judgment and will honor his wishes. Allow your son autonomy here to manage how he navigates this situation.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be available to him to be his sounding board as he figures things out. But this means truly listening and supporting versus telling him what you want him to do. Or choosing to act on the impulse to try to fix things for him versus allowing him autonomy. Sitting with our kids in their pain is hard, but that is what they need. Ask open-ended questions and only offer your opinion when asked. Offer advice – but avoid mandates. He will thank you when he knows he can trust his own judgment and how to navigate his way out of bad choices when they happen.
Impact on Future Opportunities
Even if he hadn’t started late in musical theater, having a huge resume of lead roles is not a guarantee for getting into a program. On the flip side, not having a huge resume of lead roles does not mean little or no chance of getting into a program. So much of what matters comes down to the audition.
Just like casting a show, many of the exact same factors will come into play when programs are deciding on putting together each class for acting programs. What your teen can bring to the audition room will be key. It can be hard to believe, and also hard to hear for students who had hoped that their history of leads will give them an advantage. But the advantage comes from the experience and the learning in each production.
There is great value in having been in the ensemble. There are skills to learn, and during the course of a musical theater program, it is inevitable that actors will be cast as ensemble in many productions. If your teen uses this experience to learn, grow, stretch their skillset, being a well-rounded triple-threat who can show up confidently in the audition room is the biggest asset for your son going into the application and audition process.
Rather than focus on the specific roles in each production, encourage your son to continue taking acting, singing, and dance classes. If they are available to him, enroll in classes in local theater schools, community centers, or any private studios that will increase his skills in these areas.
Encourage him to understand the expectations for academic and artistic admission to programs. These are often separate applications. There are various groups on social media for teens who are pursuing musical theater. Suggest he look at a few and if he finds them helpful to join. Find an instructor who has experience choosing an audition repertoire that will show his range and abilities in the best light.
There are many ways to help prepare for the process. If it’s a financial possibility, consider hiring an audition coach. This is not, by the way, necessary for a great audition. But may be helpful given that he is newer to the musical theater world. You should both educate yourself about the process and understand the various types of programs, what they prepare him for, and how admissions are set up. This will include understanding prescreens and preparing to submit the best prescreens possible for schools that require them. If he feels he could use more time addressing all of these things before it is time to apply, he could consider taking a gap year to focus on the experience and skills that would build his confidence in his application
Conclusion
Proper preparation and a strong audition will ultimately matter more for your son’s chances of getting admitted into an acting program than being cast as the lead in one show. Walking into an audition with confidence will show up in his performance. The connections he is able to make in the room and his personality are bigger assets than a lead role. So as much as it may feel frustrating, disappointing, and discouraging, in the larger picture, this should not derail his aspirations.
Almost all successful actors have many stories of times they were passed over for a role only to ultimately land the one that upleveled their career. If your son continues in musical theater, there will be many times he won’t get the role he desires. But he will learn and grow with each new experience which will better prepare him for both a career in the arts and adult life in general.
