Having a teen, tween, or young adult in the arts is often a fun-filled roller coaster ride of creative abundance.
But there are the parts none of us parents want to think about unless we are forced to do so. The emotional roller coaster for teens in the arts that are inevitable challenges and sometimes downsides. Just when you think your teen is riding through a fun curve, a sudden drop may pop up out of nowhere. The steep downhill may be fun or terrifying.
Here are just a few of the potentially spine-tingling challenges that your teen may navigate their way through their arts journey.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
Competition
I once heard a sports parent say, “I’m so glad my daughter is into theater; I can’t take all of the competition to make the team and get time off the bench.”
I tried to break it to her gently…
Teens in the arts are often facing fierce competition for roles, exhibitions, awards, chairs, features, solos, the list goes on and on. Evaluation and placement are part of the game, and with that comes competition.
Rejection and Disappointment
With evaluation and placement, there will always be moments of feeling rejection or disappointment. Even for the teen artist who often comes out on top, there will be moments when they will work their hardest and still not receive the part, opportunity, team or ensemble placement, or award they so deeply desired.
As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to watch their pain, especially since there is little you can do to make it better. The recognition that a hug and a promise of a special treat no longer have the same power of healing that they once did can be unnerving.
Pressure to Excel
Even if it is not coming from you, your artistic teen may feel a significant amount of pressure to excel and constantly improve their skills. This may be particularly intense if they have ambitions of pursuing a career in the arts. This pressure can be mentally and emotionally taxing – for them and you, especially when they work hard, pour their heart and soul into the effort, but progress is slow.
Peer Jealousy
In group-oriented arts like theater or music, jealousy or resentment can emerge when one teen is cast in a prominent role or given special recognition. Even in more individual arts, teens are well aware of who gets extra praise, is encouraged to submit to a competition, or moves up the ranks quickly.
Vulnerability
Creative work is often deeply personal. Many artists will tell you they do their best work when they are open and vulnerable. Watching your teen learn to take emotional risks in a public forum – and risk those emotions being misunderstood or used against them, is one of the scariest parenting tasks around.
Financial Constraints
Supporting a teen who has a deep passion for the creative arts can add up quickly. Lessons, instruments, equipment, gear, clothing, supplies, materials are all expenses that seem to increase with time. If you are new to this and think you had sticker shock for the beginner instrument… just wait. I suggest you be sitting down when you first look into the costs coming your way. Scary indeed.
How to Enjoy the Ride
Here are a few suggestions on how to help your teens enjoy the ride – even when unexpected twists and turns occur:
- Provide emotional support and remind them that competition is a natural part of the arts world.
- Help them see competition as an opportunity to improve and learn, rather than just a win-or-lose situation.
- Be a compassionate and understanding listener when your teen faces rejection or disappointment.
- Communicate your unwavering support for their artistic endeavors, emphasizing that their well-being is more important than achieving perfection.
- Help them find a healthy balance between their artistic pursuits and other aspects of their life such as education and social activities.
- Encourage them to set realistic goals and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, to build their self-esteem and motivation.
- Demonstrate the value of collaboration and camaraderie in the arts and in life rather than focusing solely on competition.
- Encourage them to be humble and supportive when they receive recognition and to extend the same support to their peers.
- Discuss the importance of empathy and the idea that their success does not diminish others’ talents.
- Provide a safe and open space for them to share their feelings and experiences with you.
- Have them participate in developing a realistic budget for their artistic pursuits.
- Encourage them to explore second-hand or cost-effective options for equipment and supplies while still maintaining quality.
When the Ride Slows Down
The great news is… when the ride slows down, your teen will come through this journey with a host of valuable experiences and skills. While you are holding onto the safety bar, take solace knowing that just a few of the things your teen is learning include:
- Self-expression
- Emotional identification and healthy release
- Creativity
- Problem solving
- Teamwork
- Discipline
- Commitment
- Time management
- Navigating challenging social interactions
- Resilience
The emotional roller coaster for teens in the arts builds skills that will help ground them as they transition into adulthood.
And that makes every scary moment well worth the ride.
