Dr. Alaina –
I am so stressed out right now. College applications have me feeling depressed and frustrated. There is just so much to do, and even though I have really good grades, I’m still worried it’s not enough to get into a decent school. But also much of my stress is because I just don’t really know what I want to do. I want to major in musical theater, but my parents won’t pay for that. They said I can do it as a minor or a hobby, but I have to major in something more practical.
I’m emotionally exhausted trying to figure it all out. I know I want to go to school in a big city so I can try to keep finding ways to perform. It’s like I almost feel like I don’t care what I major in as long as it gives me enough time to keep performing. I keep worrying I’m going to make a huge mistake and ruin my life and be stuck doing some job I hate for the rest of time.
Maybe I am just hoping you will tell me others have gone through the same thing but are now happy with their life. I’m just tired of feeling so stressed, and my parents aren’t helping, saying that me not knowing what I want and where I want to go to school is stressing them out.
An Overwhelming Time
Junior year and much of senior year of high school can be an overwhelming time for many students. Regardless of what the tentative plan for post-high school entails, everyone is facing the reality that for the first time since starting school there is not a clear roadmap for what comes next.
One thing to remember is, when speaking to adults who attended undergrad, most will tell you they figured it out in the end. Whether that was not getting into their top school of choice and having to pivot, transferring after some time, or making the best of a program they didn’t love, at the end of the day, they made a path for themselves. In the moment, they may have felt overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed, or sad, but ultimately, it worked out.
Feeling Uncertain
It’s important to know you are not alone in not having clarity on what you want to do next. A recent study found that seventy-five percent of high school students are not ready to make college and career choices.
Though it may seem otherwise based on what your peers are verbalizing about their plans, chances are they are just as confused as you are feeling. Remember that just because they may have made some type of choice, that does not mean they have confidence in or are sure about that choice. In fact, the same study found that over fifty percent will change their major two times.
Making Decisions Based On What You Do Know
You are wise to be thinking about both the location of a potential campus. Making decisions based on what you do know – your desire to be where there are ample performing opportunities – will help you to feel more grounded even if other decisions are less clear.
Look at what types of activities you enjoy. Since you’ve indicated that musical theater is your passion, use that as a starting point for what types of majors might interest you. Ask yourself what it is about musical theater you enjoy?
For example, if one of the things you enjoy most about musical theater is expressing yourself in front of an audience, majoring in public speaking may be a good match for what you enjoy and pivot into a career that may work well with your continued pursuit of musical theater performance. Public speaking leans into skills you have already begun to develop such as active listening, creativity, passion, and communication.
You Do Have Some Control
In this moment, it may feel that you have little or no control over what will happen in your life. Yet, as much as you are feeling pressure about where you go to school, keeping perspective on the bigger picture can help you remember you do have some control over the ultimate outcome.
Success is not solely determined by grades, what college you attend, or what major you choose. Depending on what students put into the experience, they may have a tremendous education and outcome at an “average” school – or they may have a subpar outcome at a “top-notch” school if they are not engaged in learning. Passion, perseverance, adaptability, determination, positive work ethic, willingness to try new things – and a willingness to risk failure, and a resilient mindset can create success from almost any situation.
These same attributes can help you find a path to success in musical theater even without it being your declared major. You can control seeking opportunities and getting appropriate training in other ways. While it may seem daunting right now, it is possible to create a plan that keeps you excited about your current and future options.
Keeping Perspective
As a high school senior, it’s important to recognize that no single action you take is likely to result in drastic, irrevocable consequences. You can make missteps – and turn them into opportunities to learn. Getting caught up in perfectionism will only slow down the decision making process and will likely leave you feeling dissatisfied with whatever choice you make.
It’s important during this time to take breaks – both small and large, to do things that give you mental rest from decision-making and the stress. Self-care, good nutrition, and time with friends are all important to avoid losing perspective in this season of life.
Seek Additional Support
Communicating openly and honestly with those who can be a support system right now is also important. If your parents are contributing to your feelings of stress, let them know this in a respectful manner. Let them know you are taking this decision seriously and that is part of why you aren’t just picking a school and a major and moving on. Let them know what they can do to reduce your stress, whether it’s something like to stop focusing on the decision or helping you narrow down your choices.
If you find your parents are not enough support, look to others including friends, other family, school counselors, teachers, or mentors. In the event that your stress is interfering with your quality of life, you should consider seeking professional support. Many high school students have found therapy to be beneficial during this transitional time.
Conclusion
You are not alone in experiencing the college application and decision process as one fraught with overwhelming stress. Do your best to keep perspective and remember that while it is a big decision – it is only one step of many towards a happy and fulfilling career. Statistics show that most high school seniors are uncertain about their career path. By embracing uncertainty and aligning personal passions with academic choices, you will be able to look back at this time and realize that whatever choices you made, you were able to find a path that feels in alignment with your future goals.
