“Talent.” It’s a word that is used in our culture on a regular basis. When we see a better-than-expected performance, product, or presentation, our inclination is to comment on the talent of the individual who has impressed us. I’ve heard this applied to my own children as well as countless others we’ve witnessed throughout their creative journeys.

 

But what exactly is talent? And what if your kid doesn’t have it?

 

Oxford Languages offers this definition:

talent—natural aptitude or skill

 

Sounds simple. Innocuous and obvious. Yet, ironically, given the title of this book, I’m not always a fan of the word—even though it’s used by many as a sincere compliment. But the concept of talent, especially when discussing a young person, can be fraught with underlying expectations and limitations.

 

The Misconception of Natural Ability

 

It’s really the implication of the “natural” part that I have a problem with. There are, of course, people who are born with a natural aptitude for certain activities. Some skills and tasks come more easily to them than others. But acknowledging that someone has an innate ability in a creative field does not address the hard work and practice that continued growth of a skill requires. And this can be a dangerous oversight that has the potential to undermine growth

 

Hard Work Behind Talent

 

We often label creative artists as “talented”:

 

“She is such a talented painter!”

 

“He has such natural talent for design.”

 

“What a talented budding chef!”

 

“You have such natural talent as an actor!”

 

While these statements are intended as compliments, they can take credit away from the artists’ hard work. The word “talent” can imply that one does not need to work at developing a skill. We tend to assume that if you are talented in a certain area, all growth and development of that skill will just evolve effortlessly. The danger of buying into this idea is that, if the skill does not improve and progress effortlessly over time, well, perhaps you are not, in fact, talented in that area. Yet those whom we identify as the most talented in their art have, in fact, put in countless hours of skill building.

 

The Journey of Skill Development

Growth and development in any area requires a certain amount of concentrated learning, work, and repetition of activities. My oldest son worked hard—very hard—to develop his skills as a guitarist. As a left-hander playing a right-hand guitar, he’d had to put in extra work to ensure that he reached the same levels of mastery as those playing with their dominant hands. As he’d gain ground in one area, he’d need to double back and work hard on another.

 

Mastered bar chords? Now work on finger speed and accuracy.

 

Finger speed and accuracy are improved? What about tone?

 

There is always something to learn, develop, improve upon, expand upon… and not all of the necessary skill development is easy, fun, or even pleasant. It’s work.

 

Locus of Control and Talent

There is a concept in psychology called locus of control. It references the degree to which you think you are in control of outcomes in your life. Those who approach life with an internal locus of control believe they can control—or at least guide—those outcomes through the choices they make and the actions they choose.

 

Those who approach life from an external locus of control feel that outcomes are the result of outside factors over which they have no control. They believe fate, luck, and determinism explain success and failures in one’s life. Had my son assumed an external locus of control based on whether he had a natural talent for feeling comfortable onstage, he would never have put the work into finding a way to feel comfortable. He would have avoided any performances that weren’t mandatory and, instead of developing his skills in that area, he would have more likely become increasingly uncomfortable, perhaps to the point of avoiding public performance altogether.

 

Beyond Talent: The Importance of Skill and Hard Work

In addition to this, implying that excellence is solely derived from talent can limit how motivated or open one is to trying something new that they may not demonstrate a natural affinity for in advance. If someone believes excellence can only come from talent, then if they would like to try a new activity but it does not come intuitively, they may believe there is little point in attempting to develop or master that skill. They may worry or assume it won’t be possible for them to progress to a high level over time. Yet most of us know of many examples of people who worked hard to add new “talents” to their skill sets.

 

Rethinking “Talent” in Parenting Creative Teens

Labeling skill mastery, hard work, and excellence as a craft “talent” can trivialize the time, effort, and perseverance your creative teen or tween demonstrates as they pursue mastery of a passion, interest, or activity. Avoiding the word “talent” is not intended to take away from any natural aptitude your creatively driven teen or tween may have been born with. (As I said earlier, there is no denying that some people are born with a natural affinity for something.) Yet it is important not to negate the impact of skill development over time in helping your teen or tween achieve and maintain the outstanding high level of achievement they demonstrate. “Talent” alone doesn’t do all the work, and the presence of “talent” doesn’t mean that one doesn’t need to work to develop their skills. If a person is told repeatedly, “Oh, you are such a talented artist,” they may develop the expectation that any and all effort produced should be above average at the very least, if not exceptional.

 

Using talent to explain excellence and success leans into the idea of an external locus of control. You either have talent or you don’t, and there isn’t much you can do to change that. Adopting this mindset can take the pressure off of personal responsibility, hard work, and dedication. This belief undermines the purposeful, systematic, repetitive, deliberate practice that builds skill development.

 

Yes, your teen or tween may very well be super talented. But when developing a creative skill, avoiding burnout, and encouraging growth, “talent” isn’t necessarily where it’s at; what matters is your teen or tween’s interest in and dedication to the art they want to explore even when it’s challenging.

 

I’d encourage you, the parent of a teen or tween with talent. to consider rethinking how both you and your teen or tween use the word “talent.” The complexity of the word “talent” for teens and tweens can minimize their hard work and dedicated practice and focus. These teens are capable, and expressive individuals with the ability to turn a knack for an art into a skilled thing of beauty. Celebrate the work they put into their art and the joy they extract from it from this effort.

 

If your teen says, “My teacher says I’m a very talented writer,” consider modifying a response such as “Of course you are!” to an alternative like “Yes, you are! You also work very hard at it.”

 

Adapted from the book “Parenting Talent: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Understanding and Supporting Creatively Driven Teens and Tweens” by Dr. Alaina Johnson