When I pictured myself as a mom of teens, I had several assumptions that my children quickly proved wrong. As a mom of three boys, I assumed that sports would be a constant theme in our home. I was wrong. It quickly became clear that while sports would have their place, the performing arts would be the prioritized passion. I would also come to realize that when it came to teaching them a work-life balance as a busy teen, prioritizing passion over paychecks would be yet another victim of my preconceived ideas of raising my teens.
As my middle son was coming to the end of his high school career, I was struck by the realization that he had never held a traditional job. I say traditional because he has been fortunate enough to earn money as a professional actor, both on stage and on camera. But we do not live in New York or Los Angeles, and this type of work is sporadic at best—and for a teen who now looks like a young adult—almost non-existent.
My oldest did hold jobs during the summers in high school, but these were jobs related to his passion. He was a camp counselor for a local musical theater program. He briefly worked in a music store but realized retail sales (and the behind-the-scenes stocking and inventory) were not for him. I didn’t push because, honestly, he was just incredibly busy. Committing to growth in his music combined with his academic responsibilities left little time for much else.
In talking to many other parents, I have found many discuss how different the concept of a high school job looks now versus when they were teens. The majority of my high school friends and I had some type of year-round job after age sixteen. There were exceptions, of course—the competitive swimmers were able to make enough money lifeguarding over the summer that they didn’t feel pressure to work during the school year.
But for many of us, whether it was a formal job such as being a cashier or an informal job such as babysitting, we worked almost year-round. Teens today seem to have schedules that make employment during the academic year much more of a challenging endeavor. When you add the demands of being a performing artist on top of the increased academic load, their schedules are jam-packed with little downtime.
These teens have schedules and responsibilities that make my head spin. Firstly, academic pressure has increased, and for those who are focused on pursuing a college education, the expected load of AP and honors classes has dramatically increased. Then add to this the demands of their personal interests and passions – some of which may be future career related.
As an example, let’s take musical theater students who are planning to pursue college and a degree in the performing arts. These students must be a “triple threat,” having at least one outstanding skill among singing, dancing, and acting, as well as being very capable in the others. This often means some type of lessons and training six or seven days per week. During the school year, there are school plays (and rehearsals), dance team, choir, show team, or any other number of performing arts activities. The schedule is a lot to coordinate and leaves very little downtime.
As far as college applications—competition to get into a musical theater or top conservatory program is tougher than ever. The preparation, lessons, picking out material, mastering it, going to auditions—all on top of having to be admitted academically as well as artistically—it’s a very time-intensive pursuit.
What downtime these students have must often be split between family obligations, summer school, vacations, camps, community performances, or other summer intensives. I’ve worked with many teens who see summer as a time to level up their skills in a way that they don’t always have time for during the school year.
With fine and performing arts classes often having limited availability, prioritizing scheduling them has also meant pushing some core academic classes into summer school, which makes working, even once a student has turned sixteen, a potential challenge.
A job for many is simply not realistic.
A mom I worked with was upset and offended when a family member casually offered up her opinion that working in high school is essential for students to learn responsibility, commitment, and hard work. As we discussed this, I reminded her that part of this statement is true—responsibility, commitment, and hard work are great values to instill. But the issue is that working at a job is not the only way to obtain these skills.
Teens who are deeply committed to the performing arts learn many auxiliary skills that teach them responsibility, commitment, hard work, and more that will serve them in man areas of life. The demands of their art can easily keep them at school and in lessons well past nine in the evening. For some, this is in addition to a rigorous course load including honors and AP classes, where the homework can have them crawling into bed well after midnight. For these students, fitting in a job is just not a realistic—or necessary—expectation. Working while learning can have it’s own drawbacks. Jobs are not always the best way to develop skillset relevant to future goals.
The commitments these teens have to skill-building in their art take up all of their time. There is often no realistic way to fit one in, even if the teen actually desires to do so to make money. A job would mean letting go of one or more of their desired long-term goals. This is a dilemma many teens face. Do they let something go to make money in the short term that could negatively impact how they are positioned to make money doing what they love in the long term?
If your teen is in this position, and instead of asking them to let go of something, you have the good fortune to be able to allow them to skip adding a job into their schedule, you are not alone. Parents have been looking at the options and recognizing that as times have changed, so have the ways that teens need to allocate their time.
For hard-working teens who are dedicated to their commitments, respectful in their home, and grateful for the support you offer, forgoing a job will not hold them back. They have a great work ethic, and they will have the rest of their lives to hold a job. Allowing your teen to take what little free time they have to connect with peers, go to a movie, or simply rest is just as important and healthy for overall well being.
Sometimes, to achieve the best work-life balance as a busy teen, prioritizing passion over paychecks makes more sense than a traditional job. Essential work skills may be learned in many ways. By encouraging our teens to allocate what time they have wisely, it will only serve to help them be even more successful in the jobs they hold in the future. The jobs that will allow them to become independent, self-sufficient young adults.
