It’s somewhat inevitable. In the process of supporting your teen artist, somewhere along the line (or many somewheres), you will hear a comment similar to “I’m not as good as that other person. They are amazing.” Combating comparison in teen artists is one of the challenges that must be addressed to avoid a negative impact on self-confidence. There can be constant opportunities for comparison which, unchecked can harm your teens emotional wel-being.
Understanding the Nature of Comparison
Comparison is an innate human behavior, and it often serves as a way for us to understand and evaluate our own experiences, skills and performance. In the context of the arts, comparison can manifest in various forms:
Self-Comparison
Your teen may compare their work to their own previous performance or creation. When this is with the intention of looking for opportunities or growth and improvement, this is helpful. However, excessive self-comparison can lead to self-doubt and frustration.
Peer Comparison
Teens often measure their abilities against their peers. If your teen does this, it can be both motivating and demoralizing of envy if they see themselves as somehow lacking.
Celebrity Comparison
With the accessibility of social media, it’s easier than ever for teenagers to compare themselves to famous artists and celebrities. This can result in unrealistic expectations and self-esteem issues.
Combating Comparison
While comparison can be a powerful motivator, it can also create anxiety and insecurity. When the adults in a teens life understand that comparison can be a natural part of the artistic journey, they can work to help teens navigate it in a healthy way.
Develop Awareness
Your teen may not be tuned into when, or how often, they compare themselves to others. For some teens it can become a reflexive response any time they witness another artist product or performance.
Encourage your teen to be mindful about what thoughts come up when they hear or see an inspiring performance. Do they find themselves thinking “Wow. I want to work to be that good someday.” Or do they more often find themselves engaging in negative thoughts such as “Wow. I will never be anywhere close to as good as that person.”
If they recognize that they lean into the latter, activities that help them identify and reframe automatic negative thoughts can be helpful.
Fostering Positive Self-Identity
One of the most effective ways to address comparison is by helping your teen develop a positive self-identity. This means being able to identify what makes them unique or special, what are their strengths, what are they naturally good at, what are the gifts they have that support their efforts in pursuing their chosen art form.
The more your teen can identify and cultivate their own intrinsic abilities and develop their own appreciation for who they are, the less they will fall into the comparison trap. Learning to appreciate their unique artistic voice and value their own creative journey, they become less susceptible to the negative effects of comparison.
Promote Collaboration
Encourage your teen to view their peers as potential collaborators rather than competition. Collaboration can be a source of inspiration and mutual growth.
Collaboration can be in many forms. Rehearsing or working to improve skills together or working on a mutual project or performance can be great ways to engage with peers as collaborators.
When engaged in collaboration your teen is more likely to see where their peers struggle, where they need support and how they are similar to them. This decreases negative comparison as they come to understand everyone has their own challenges.
Understand The Impact on Self-Esteem
When your teen compares themself to someone else, help them recognize the negative feelings this brings up. Discuss how focusing on others can damage our own view of ourselves because comparison often results in disappointment.
Explain to your teen that using comparison to gauge their own success makes it challenging to identify their own potential because they are looking to be like someone else. Redirect or reframe comments your teen makes that indicate they are using someone else as a benchmark of their own potential, progress or goals.
Set Realistic Goals
Help your teen set achievable artistic goals that are based on their current skill level and personal aspirations. This can create a sense of purpose and direction, reducing the need for unhealthy comparison.
If your teen struggles with this, use mentors, teachers and other instructors to help guide them to more realistic goal setting. Encourage them to celebrate progress, not just outcomes. When a goal has been set, ask your teen what steps or skills must be mastered to achieve the overall goal. Suggest they acknowledge their effort, dedication and progress on each step they laid out along the way. This way comparison is focused on where they were in the past and what they have achieved since that time.
Discuss Exposure on Social Media
While social media can be a useful platform for showcasing one’s art, it can also fuel unhealthy comparisons. Teach your teen to use social media mindfully and focus on their own journey rather than the carefully curated feeds of others.
When it comes to celebrity comparison, remind your teen that most famous artists have also faced numerous challenges and failures on their path to success. It’s crucial to emphasize that their idols were once in their shoes and that their journey is a marathon, not a sprint.
Seeking Professional Help
Take note if your teen indicates or you sense that your teen is dealing with persistent feelings of inadequacy, stress, or sadness or have concerns about your teens emotional well-being. If they are being significantly affected by comparison, it may be advisable to seek professional help. A licensed therapist or counselor with experience in working with young artists can provide the necessary support and guidance to address these issues.
Conclusion
Parenting a teen in the arts involves navigating the complex landscape of comparison. While comparison is a natural part of the artistic journey, it can also be a source of stress and self-doubt. With your support in guiding them through you can help them thrive and find joy in their creative expression. Remember that every artist’s journey is unique, and combating comparison in teen artists will support their growth and well-being throughout their journey.
