Dr. Alaina – I’m seriously considering suggesting my kid sit out this year of musical theater. I know she will tell me absolutely not, but I’m really just exhausted by the stress and anxiety she puts herself through related to what I feel should be a fun part of her life. It feels like even though she clearly has moments of real joy, a lot of the time she is, well frankly, a hot mess of emotions. She feels she’s not good enough, she can’t rehearse enough, will never dance well enough to make it into a musical theater program in college – I could go on and on. It’s been lovely having a few weeks of just her regular lessons between shows this summer. I’m dreading the next round of auditions. Is it fair to insist that if she’s this stressed out it’s not healthy and she should focus on just singing?
Stress and anxiety in the creative arts. Oh boy. So many parents will relate to this question – why do teens keep going if it is causing them what looks like emotional anguish at times?
The pressures of school, social dynamics, and personal growth can be overwhelming at times. However, for teens in the creative arts, their progress and participation in their art may be an additional stressor that they willingly take on.
As a parent it can be confusing as they will say they love their art, and insist on continuing their journey in their art despite the stress and anxiety it may cause. If your teen loves their art but you struggle to identify with the emotional roller coaster that you witness connected to that art, it can help to understand why this may be occurring.
Why Teens Continue to Engage in Activities That Cause Stress and Anxiety
Developmental Norms
Developmentally, the teen years are a period of tremendous growth and change – and figuring out who they are. Part of this can come with self-doubt and comparison, no matter how much we encourage them not to engage to do so. They look at their peers and feel that what they have to offer, their skill set is not good enough and their peers are further along and “better” than they are.
During this adolescent time of identity exploration, self-expression, and the formation of a social identity. As teens strive to establish their place within their peer groups and seek validation and recognition from others, they may fall prey to anxiety about how they measure up to others.
Social Connection
A subset of this teen identity development is finding social connections and community beyond those provided within their immediate family or childhood friendships. Many of the creative arts have a large collaborative component or foster shared goals, teamwork and strong bonds around a shared passion. This sense of camaraderie they develop with others who enjoy creating something from the ground up can create a sense of belonging and community that outweighs any temporary stress or anxiety that is also part of that package.
Skill Development and Future Goals:
Many teens involved in the arts want to keep the option of pursuing their art as a career open. Continued engagement in their art provides them with a platform to refine their skills, gain experience, and establish a foundation for their future aspirations. The passion and dedication they demonstrate towards their art can be seen as an investment towards their long-term goals, motivating them to persist despite the stressors.
Strategies for Parents to Help Teens Manage Stress and Anxiety:
Open Communication:
Encourage open and honest communication with your teenager. This includes conversations they may not always enjoy but are important about self-care and keeping balance in their life. Create a safe space where they can express their feelings, concerns, and anxieties about their involvement in the arts. Be an active listener and validate their experiences without judgment. Wait until they are not in the middle of a stressful moment to discuss any concerns you have about the impact of their stress level on themselves and those around them.
Time Management, Prioritization and Organization:
Assist your teen in developing effective time management, prioritization and organization skills to balance their short and long term goals and commitments. Encourage them to create a schedule that includes time for their art – all aspects of it depending on what is going on – homework, self-care, and relaxation. Teach them to prioritize tasks and make informed choices about their involvement in their art
Stress Reduction Techniques:
In moments where they seem receptive, recommend stress reduction techniques to your teen such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and meditation. Encourage them to engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as taking breaks, practicing new hobbies unrelated to their art, or spending time in nature. These techniques can help reduce anxiety and promote overall well-being.
Seek Professional Support:
If your teens’ stress and anxiety related to their art persists and begins to interfere with their daily functioning, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. Consider consulting with a mental health professional who specializes in working with adolescents. They can help with differentiating between appropriate levels of stress and anxiety versus levels that warrant further interventions.
Practice Patience:
Helping your teen traverse this challenging stage during their pursuit of their creative art. Patience is key in helping them find tools to help them manage their internal and external stress and anxiety. Patience both from you in how you address their concerns, as well as helping them develop patience for themselves during times that aren’t going the way they had hoped. And patience with themselves as they manage the emotions connected to the ups and downs in their arts journey.
Encourage your teen to learn from both the great days and the challenging days. Look at what they are feeling on the days that seem to go just as they hoped and tune into those moments. Remind them when things feel stressful to recall why they continue to engage in the challenging parts and how it feels with the hard work and challenging moments pay off.
Conclusion:
Though it may be tempting to encourage your teen to walk away from any endeavor that seems to be causing them stress and anxiety, unless it is causing a larger overall mental health crisis, this will not allow them the opportunity to learn how to manage their own emotions effectively. It will also cost them the joyous moments their art also provides.
Rather than trying to force your teen to take a break, remind them that a break is always an option. If they are not inclined to step away in some capacity, let them know why you are concerned, how you see it impacting them and those around them, and offer suggestions on ways they can add more tools to their toolbox for managing the challenging parts of the art they love.
