When you have an artistically driven teen, whether they love the creative or performing arts, it always seems that several times a year, a perfect storm of multiple obligations hits the calendar at one time. Surviving the busy season with your artistic team can be a challenge that may lead to strained relationships, frustration, or exhaustion all around.
When you find that your teen is in the midst of a whirlwind of concerts, shows, exhibits, final projects, evaluations, festivities, academic commitments, tests, banquets, practices, and recitals, things can feel overwhelming. As a parent, you may find yourself juggling a delicate balance of supporting your teen and maintaining your own sanity as you navigate the increased demand on everyone’s time.
You may also find your teen becoming increasingly short-tempered and quick to lash out or taking your availability to assist them for granted.
It can be a challenging time, but there are some practical strategies you can use not only to survive but thrive during a hectic season.
Understanding the Dynamics
The first critical step in navigating an unusually demanding period is to understand the dynamics at play. While your teen is exploring their independence and autonomy, they are still learning how to manage all of the new responsibilities that are being thrown their way. Learning to balance academic responsibilities with all of their extracurricular activities is crucial for their growth and development, but it is also likely that they will drop the ball at times. For you as their parent, acknowledging their need for independence while still offering appropriate levels of support (and schedule management) can be key to setting them (and you) up for success.
Creating and Updating a Calendar
It seems so obvious, right? Have an established calendar and keep it updated as new activities and obligations are announced.
Obvious to you as an adult who knows how easily things are forgotten or remembered incorrectly can occur.
Yet for teens, this is not always ingrained. Yes, for many, our schools have tried to develop this essential skill. They are offered a planner at the beginning of the year – oftentimes starting as early as third grade – and teachers encourage students to enter information. Somehow for many students, this does not translate into an essential life skill and is seen more as one more thing required from their teachers. Once there are no more “planner checks” as they move onto middle school, you may notice that the planner is left empty.
Talk to your teen about how they are keeping track of things. For some, the process of writing out their assignments is helpful, and they should try several paper planners to see what works best for them. Sometimes something as simple as purchasing a smaller version or a different layout can trigger more consistent use. Other teens may prefer an electronic version, and using one that lives on their phone or computer is far more likely to be utilized effectively.
Ask your teen which they have found they prefer and let them know what system you use to keep track of it all. For example, if you have found reviewing your calendar on Sunday afternoon and double-checking that nothing was overlooked when adding information keeps you on track, let them know how and why this works for you. Encourage them to find their own system that centralizes all of their commitments and allows them to see the big picture of what all they need to do in the coming days, weeks, and months.
If they are open to it, a shared family calendar can be a lifesaver during chaotic times. Whether this is something like a Google Calendar or simply a dry-erase wall calendar can help cue your teens when you won’t be available to transport them to an activity. Bonus points for reminding them they aren’t the only ones with a busy schedule and to be mindful of the needs of others.
Prioritizing Commitments
Part of using a calendar is using it to help your teen prioritize commitments. With a multitude of events vying for attention, it’s important to learn to identify non-negotiable events and prioritize them over “would be nice” ones. This may include essential academic deadlines, performances, rehearsals, and must-attend family commitments. By establishing clear priorities, you can empower your teen to reduce the stress of trying to attend every event and allow for a more focused and intentional approach to managing it all.
Encouraging Time Management Skills
With any luck, prioritizing commitments will lead to encouraging time management skills. Teens often struggle with time management, especially during busy times. This presents an opportunity for you to guide your teen in developing effective time management skills. Offer to help them break down tasks, set realistic deadlines, and create a study schedule that accommodates both academic and extracurricular commitments. The earlier they learn these skills, the better they will be at managing their responsibilities independently in the future.
Balancing Academic and Extracurricular Responsibilities
Academic demands during a busy season of rehearsals, shows, exhibits, and concerts can be particularly challenging. These times often coincide with the end of a semester, which adds the pressure of final exams and projects on top of their extracurricular responsibilities.
Encourage your teen to create a study plan that allows for consistent and focused study sessions. Help them identify optimal study times, create a quiet study environment, and break down large tasks into manageable chunks. It’s crucial to strike a balance between supporting their academic endeavors and allowing them the autonomy to take charge of their own learning.
Once these times are prioritized and protected, have your teen do the same type of planning for any preparation they may need to do for their creative or performing arts duties. Identify the best times and places for them to meet these obligations. Set aside protected time to accomplish any goals and go into their commitments feeling prepared.
Communicating Openly
Maintaining open lines of communication is key to avoiding frustration, meltdowns, and anger during a particularly hectic time. Check in with your teen about how they prefer you to check in with them. Let them know “don’t check in, I’ve got this” is not an answer that will help or be honored. Indicate you are happy to do so in a way that works for them, and it will only make you and them happy when, in fact, they have it all handled. Yet, it also allows you to be aware and plug in appropriate support if they are struggling with their schedule, academic progress, creative commitments, and emotional well-being.
Create a safe space for them to express their concerns or frustrations. It’s essential to validate their feelings and collaborate on solutions when challenges arise. By fostering open communication, you strengthen your relationship with your teen and build a foundation of trust that leads to increased competence and confidence.
Managing Emotional Stress
A busy season can be emotionally taxing for both you and your teen. Feelings of anger, frustration, or being taken for granted may surface, especially when there are needs not being met on both sides. Acknowledge these emotions and address them constructively. Model using healthy outlets for stress and anxiety relief, such as exercise, meditation, or spending quality time as a family. If emotions become overwhelming on either side, consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist to navigate these challenges together in the future.
Fostering Independence
While providing support is crucial, fostering independence is equally important. Empower your teen to take ownership of their commitments by allowing them to make decisions about their schedule and extracurricular involvement. This not only builds their confidence but also prepares them for the responsibilities they will face in adulthood. Trusting your teen to manage their time and commitments instills a sense of responsibility that will serve them well in the long run.
It can be challenging to watch your teen choose what you might consider the incorrect priority. This may mean choosing time with friends over studying or practicing, dropping out of a performance due to poor time management or planning, or simply not giving something the attention it might need.
Yet it is only through dealing with the consequences of these choices that your teen will learn how to independently manage their time better. If you never allow them to live through the consequences, they will never understand the importance of planning and honoring commitments.
Setting Realistic Expectations
It’s essential to set realistic expectations for both yourself and your teen when things are unusually busy. Remind yourself and your teen that perfection is not the goal, and it’s okay to prioritize goals and engage in self-care. Let your teen know that it can be tempting to overcommit to events and activities – especially socially driven. Yet when there are extra required duties and expectations, sometimes they will not be able to attend every event. This includes family events such as a graduation party for a third cousin twice removed whom your teen has only met a handful of times. By setting realistic expectations, you reduce the pressure on both yourself and your teen.
Practical Strategies for Managing Commitments
Use Technology
Leverage digital tools and apps to streamline scheduling and communication. Encourage your teen to set calendar reminders, timers, and use communication platforms to help keep everyone in the loop.
Carpooling and Shared Responsibilities
Ask your teen to check in with peers about carpooling to events and activities. Sharing responsibilities not only lightens the load but also lightens the load for everyone. Let them know when you are available to help out, or if they are drivers themselves, remind them to ask for help, whether that is asking another driver to alternate or for gas money if they are consistently picking up peers.
Batching Activities
Encourage your teen to assess their schedule and determine if there is a more efficient way to meet obligations. For example, if their dance rehearsal is on the opposite side of town, check to see if there are any locations close to the studio where they can study to minimize back-and-forth driving.
Prioritize Self-Care
Ensure that both you and your teen are extra focused on prioritizing self-care during busy times. Whether it’s getting enough sleep, eating healthily, or taking short breaks to relax, self-care is crucial for maintaining physical and mental well-being.
Suggest your teen include self-care time on their schedule. It can also be beneficial to ask them to provide you with a list of fruits, veggies, and healthy quick snacks they can grab easily on-the-go. If meal prep works best for them, help them plan out what to prep and how to package it up in the fridge on weekends, especially if they will be having meals on the go. This will avoid constant trips for fast food.
Conclusion
Surviving the busy season with your artistic teen requires a delicate balance of support and communication while allowing for teen autonomy. Acknowledge the logistical and emotional challenges that may arise, communicate openly, and set realistic expectations. Through a proactive approach, you and your teen can make the most of this busy time while creating lasting memories and positive outcomes.
