Eight Personalities Creative Teens Will Have to Manage

 

Welcome to Orientation

Orientation for this season’s cast, crew, team, band, orchestra, ensemble, class, studio rules, and expectations begins now. Like all activities you’ve likely participated in, we have some basic guidelines we ask everyone to honor. Like being kind and courteous to everyone at all times. Be thoughtful in your words. Be respectful, attentive, and quiet when instructors are speaking.

 

We have been doing this for a long time, and we want to talk about what type of person you can choose to be during our time together. We’ve seen it all – and one thing that is consistent. We will all have to deal with these personalities both inside and outside of rehearsal time.

 

This information is offered as an opportunity to engage in some self-reflection. Take a minute to see if you recognize yourself in any of these. If you do, and that reflection is not something you are proud of – this is the first step to shifting your behavior and becoming the type of person you are proud to be. And if you recognize some new positive qualities in yourself – great! Use this season to spread that positive influence on others. First up we have:

 

The Gossiper

If you find yourself engaging in conversations that largely revolve around what others are doing, you may want to take a minute to be sure that this is not you. The Gossiper talks behind people’s backs, often has an opinion – good or bad – about what those people are doing and delights in others joining in the conversation.

 

If you are not The Gossiper, but know one, beware. This person rarely keeps secrets or personal information that was shared with them to themselves. Remember, if they are willing to talk about someone else behind their back, then they are also willing to talk about you.

 

When dealing with The Gossiper, be prepared to change the subject if they begin to talk about someone else. If this doesn’t stop them, refuse to take part in the conversation. Be careful about what information you share with them or those who are close to them. Chances are it will hit social media before you leave the room.

 

The Bully

This is the person in the room who delights in intimidating you and everyone else they see as in their way. With cruel comments and starting nasty rumors being a routine part of their social interaction, you should stay clear of them as much as you can.

 

The Bully loves to take out their low sense of self-worth on others by trying to make them feel worse than them. They may make fun of your efforts, imply you are terrible and will never learn or improve, and try to get in your head and question your ability.

 

This person is often so feared by others that no one will stand up to them or call them out on their spiteful behavior. If you suspect you may be The Bully, you should reach out for help (staff, teachers, parents, school counselor) to manage your emotions in a less harmful manner. If you know the bully, the one thing bullies can’t stand is confidence. It’s their kryptonite. Not everyone will like you, and that is okay – so don’t let their comments bother you. Avoid any unnecessary interactions, and if they do something that crosses the line emotionally or physically, get a trusted adult to help you address it.

 

The Critic

Have you ever had a great performance with just one small mistake? The critic is that person who feels a need to not only point out the mistake but may keep bringing it up. If awards were given for finding faults in others’ performance, this is the person who would win all of them.

 

The Critic usually isn’t as mean-spirited as the bully – in fact, they may claim they are trying to help you by pointing out the smallest of flaws so you can “fix” them. But the critic has a hard time showing the same enthusiasm for pointing out the good things you are doing – or where you’ve made improvements.

 

Are you The Critic? Do you offer up feedback where none was requested? Do you point out mistakes under the assumption the recipient may not know where they have room for improvement? If this feels familiar, be sure to stop and really think before you speak about someone else’s performance. Don’t think it’s okay to say something negative just because you buried it in a pile of positive comments. Let the staff handle constructive feedback and work to just be a cheerleader. Or if that isn’t genuine, at least say nothing at all.

 

If you are a victim of The Critic’s comments, remind yourself that their constant negativity usually comes from their own insecurity. They are concerned with their performance and negative judgment – so they make themselves feel better by looking for mistakes in others. Try offering them positive feedback about their contributions. If this doesn’t work to stop their comments, avoid them. Or let them know their comments hurt – you are totally aware of where you need to improve – and ask them to keep their opinion to themselves.

 

The One-Upper

You know that person who has to respond to any news you are sharing by letting you know they had something very similar happen – but even better? Or worse? Or scarier? Or more embarrassing? Or they can’t even let you finish your story because they have to share their own news right that second. You’ve just been a victim of The One-Upper.

 

The One-Upper may be great in many other ways, helpful, supportive, but they may also not be so great at focusing on others or knowing when they should step back and let someone else shine. Even when they are singing someone else’s praises, they may leave you feeling frustrated as they share how their friend had the same experience as you and go on to tell everyone all about it. In detail.

 

If you find yourself dealing with The One-Upper, you may want to save the moments where you are looking for thoughtful feedback for someone else. In their haste to share their experiences they may not stop long enough to listen to yours. Remind yourself that it’s not about you or that what you have to share is somehow uninteresting. The One-Upper just has a hard time paying attention and plan your interactions with them accordingly.

 

For anyone who is thinking, “Hmm, do I do that to people?” work on stopping and fully listening to what others are saying. There are other ways to contribute to a conversation besides having to share a similar story. You may need to make a list of short, supportive responses and tell yourself you are only going to say that no more. Sometimes “Wow, that’s so great!” or “Ugh. That’s a bummer, I’m sorry that happened” makes people feel much more understood than jumping in with “Oh wow! The same thing happened to me last year but when it happened to me…” You may find others start sharing with you even more.

 

The People-Pleaser

Do you know anyone who will do almost anything to get people to like them or make them happy? Even when it’s sometimes to their detriment? That person who sees that you are bummed that you aren’t in the front row during the performance and offers to switch places with you – even though they are inches shorter than you?

 

The People-Pleaser is easy to be around – they rarely make waves and don’t like conflict. They can be amazing friends – but you can also see where sometimes people use them. This personality type may not stand up for themselves – even when someone is hurting them. They may not share their opinion if they feel it might upset someone – even when they may have a great option or solution to offer.

 

If you come across The People-Pleaser, be mindful of not taking advantage of their willingness to do whatever is asked of them. Just because they are always willing to give up the window seat on the bus to the rehearsal venue doesn’t mean you should ask them to do so. If you find yourself wondering if they really want to do something you see someone asking them to do, take them aside and ask them. If they say “I don’t mind,” tell them how great you think it is that they are so helpful, but also remind them it’s okay to set a boundary too.

 

Are you The People-Pleaser in your group? Do you hold back offering your input out of fear that someone may not like what you have to say? Are you the first to jump up to volunteer to clean up every time – even when you may not be feeling great that day? Do you have a hard time saying “no” even when that is how you really feel?

 

If this is you, it’s time to recognize that it is okay to set boundaries. Just because you don’t volunteer to clean up (and instead head out to grab medicine for your pounding headache) doesn’t mean people will think any less of you. In fact, if taking care of your own needs causes someone to pull away from you, they were never your friend to begin with. Your real friends will care about your opinions even if they don’t agree, will support you taking care of yourself, and will ask you how you feel about things. And they will be the ones to say “I’ll do it today, The People-Pleaser always does it. We should all help more” when it’s time to volunteer and you decline to take care of yourself.

 

The Fair-Minded Friend

The Fair-Minded Friend looks around and observes what is happening. When The People-Pleaser once again doesn’t get enough pizza because everyone else rushed in and took too much, they will speak up. They notice when someone is being left out and will work to include them. If The Bully says something unkind, The Fair-Minded Friend will make a point to seek you out to let you know they saw it and it was mean and untrue.

 

Having The Fair-Minded friend in your corner can be a real asset when things are challenging. When The Gossiper repeats personal information, they will refuse to participate in the conversation. They think about how things make others feel and act in ways that won’t harm others.

 

If you are The Fair-Minded Friend, you are someone most people want to be around. You don’t like drama, but you also don’t like it when someone is being treated unfairly – and you are comfortable speaking up.

 

Some people will love your honesty and sense of justice. Others may not love it if they aren’t always doing what they should. As long as you know you are not crossing into being The Tattler, just treat any negative feedback the way you do everything else. Assessing the situation and doing your best to be fair in your reaction.

 

The Thoughtful Observer

Often a quieter person, don’t be fooled by The Thoughtful Observer’s reserved demeanor or delayed response. They may not say something in the moment, but that is because they want to really process what everyone has said and weigh their response out carefully. When The Thoughtful Observer does speak up, you may be blown away by their insight and helpful suggestions.

 

The Thoughtful Observer is a great asset to most any situation, and they are a good friend to have. Where The One-Upper is not the person to seek thoughtful feedback from, The Thoughtful Observer is just that person. They genuinely want to hear what is on your mind and will offer genuine feedback in an effort to support you. They will be genuinely happy when you succeed, even if they let you know this with a quick text after all of the other hoopla has died down.

 

Treat this person with the same respect and kindness they offer you and everyone they encounter. The Thoughtful Observer is often respected by many and has deep and meaningful relationships. They prefer collaboration to competition and prefer to work together with open communication. Even if they are not one of your closer friends, they have watched how you conduct yourself and if you are being treated unfairly, they are often the one to back you up when you need outside support if they feel you deserve it.

 

If you are The Thoughtful Observer, your opinion has likely come to matter to many. Don’t feel pressure to change your tendency to want time to reflect on situations – it’s this introspection that has led people to trust your insight. Because others see you as someone with influence, those who may not be acting in a manner you agree with may push for you to say otherwise. Remember, your true friends will never want you to offer anything other than your genuine opinion, and anyone asking for anything different is not worth the energy you put into supporting others.

 

The Champion

You just got the part that you know The Champion wanted, but after they take a moment to feel a bit sad, they run over to congratulate you. The Champion knows that you getting the part doesn’t mean anything negative about them, and they are happy to celebrate your win with you.

 

The Champion likes to see everyone do their best. They notice when someone has been struggling and offer support. And when that person starts to make improvements, they let them know they see it and congratulate them. They value other people’s feelings, and being a good friend and kind person is important to them.

 

Being friends with The Champion feels great. This person truly wants to see others win just as much as they want to win themselves. They are secure in who they are and aren’t threatened or bothered by great things happening to others. They will show up to your activities just to be supportive.

 

If you are The Champion, be sure you have a champion in your own life. Someone who is genuinely happy when you succeed and is there to lift you up when you are struggling. Be careful of one-way relationships where a person is always turning to you for support but doesn’t do the same when you need it. Being The Champion is an amazing person to be, especially when you set boundaries with people who reflect back your generosity.

 

Conclusion

Of course, there are infinite personality types, but in groups, these are a few that we have seen can really set the tone – good or bad – for how we all experience this season. Be mindful of your contribution to the group dynamics. If you find someone who is not contributing to you or the group in a positive manner, set a boundary and create a group of friends you feel great about.